Hello Priscatee fam, if you were to pay a fine of $1000 every time you used the word, “love”, would you willingly give it up? Well, I’m pretty sure many of us would be more cautious about how and who we say it to. Others may never use it. Love seems to be expensive, don’t you think so?
It’s no news that nearly all of us have used or heard this phrase, “I love you” or “I’m in love with you”. Of course, a large number of persons unintentionally base such sayings on their feelings which it’s often mistaken to be love. Upon discovering that there is more to love, mostly teenagers and young adults understand why overtime, their feelings begin to fickle naturally and they seem not to be interested in whom they professed to love.
Love itself is not a feeling, it is a decision. I once asked a friend who expressed his interest in taking our relationship a little further, what he meant by the phrase “I love you”. He replied, “I can’t tell why I love you because love has no reason. Reasons fickle – they don’t last, and love based on something isn’t love, it’s selfishness”.
Nearly all teenagers and young adults end up badly their relationships because they often have reasons for being in love. What might be responsible for this? Certainly not because of the lack of truth in their feelings, but a limited knowledge of what love evidently means.
Having established this foundation, what then does love mean?
Ever heard this saying before? It takes long to build trust but it’s easily broken in seconds. This is true. Once you tell someone, “I love you”, it means, “I trust everything about you, be it past or present”. If I happen to hear something false about you, I will trust you.
Acceptance can be tough and even complete acceptance is the toughest and must(can) be done if you say you love someone. Completely accepting another individual without restrictions who is not blood related, is what love is all about. This can’t be done without total acceptance of yourself by yourself. I understand there are certain habits that are completely unacceptable and should not be tolerated, but love goes the extra mile to see that such habits are gotten rid off. If that individual isn’t ready to change, please don’t force a change. Remember, not everyone is your relationship candidate.
The partner with whom you make a decision to grow in love with, your boss at work, your leader in church may have a different approach to a way of life and this may call for a little flexibility. Compromise for each other is paramount for a relationship to succeed. You must be willing to bend, shake, move and accept each other’s opinions and way of life to be successful in that relationship. A stiff necked individual doesn’t know what love means. Compromise for the good, right and positive things is what you should be willing to do, not the negative. Bottom line, don’t be selfish. Love is selfless.
Devotion, commitment, not sex, not having fun with your bodies is paramount in your relationship. You can’t be emotionally involved or investing your time and commitment in someone else. You must be single minded towards whom you profess to love. To be in love means you are stable in your profession of commitment. James 1:8
A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
Honesty is not just in speech but in action. That means, it must reflect. The moment your partner or anyone connected to you starts seeing signs of dishonesty, it only means one thing, you are clearly void of love. Remember, it’s what you do that will be seen. Don’t create a false picture expecting your partner to see something different, he/she is not omnipresent. Act and behave right.
Everyone needs affection, how much more the ones closer to you. I’ve heard people say they are inexpressive, this could be true but no one wants to hear that. Love is never hidden and I don’t mean putting it in the face of cameras and social media platforms. It doesn’t have to be there.
True love speaks efforts. A gift, an accolade, a feast, an outing, or even a letter should be given to the ones we love. It doesn’t have to be large, just a thought of it is more than enough. Be expressive, sing praises, make celebrations indoor and outdoor. It doesn’t have to be always but make an effort. This should go both ways. Don’t always be at the receiving end, learn from the ones who’ve shown you examples. Be sacrificial.
There is actually no need to be jealous of your partner as you should be thankful for their growth. If you seem to notice butterflies hoving around the one you love. Rather than flaying up by saying, “why are you talking to another person instead of me?, say cheerfully, “I seem to be missing out on the deliciousness of your presence, looks like all these butterflies really appreciate my investments in you”.
People with excessive jealousy always end up being abusive. Don’t be one.
In conclusion, we must bear in mind that the way to love is the way God did by sending His Son to die in our place. We don’t merit what we have, His mercy gave us freely. He created the Earth for us to dwell in it without us paying rent for it. He breathed His air so that we can have no struggle while enjoying the natural gift and beauty we see and enjoy. Why should you then be selfish? Love genuinely and freely.
Until I come your way next time, please live with common sense, love unconditionally and never forget that life is God’s gift to us.