As individuals, we are routinely faced with questions while going about our daily activities. Questions like, “where are you going?”, “What do you want?”, “Who are you?”, and so on. But there are a number of questions which we fail to ask ourselves, especially when we are on the verge of taking major steps in life. And among the most major of such steps are those that involve embarking on a romantic relationship. Such steps are key because they usually result in life-altering experiences which can (permanently) make or mar an individual.
Just like college tests are necessary before going into the next academic year, individual questions/tests for relationships are important because their answers provide useful information which can be a great value in making wise decisions. Failure to ask these questions, most of the time, is a harbinger of frustration and regret.
And no wonder, for couples who break up badly usually tell us that they tried their best to make things work but couldn’t, because, at the initial stage, they failed to evaluate and incorporate adequate checks and balances.
What, then, are these important questions? Consider these seven which rank among the topmost:
1. Am I ready to love Someone Else as much as, or even more than Myself?
One of the true characteristics of love is that it puts others before itself. One must understand that before he or she can love another person, he/she must know what love really means. Loving someone else sometimes requires that you meet their needs before yours because all you are interested in is their happiness. That is why it is important to take careful consideration before saying ‘yes’ to someone. On a personal note, I had to sit back to ask myself this very question because I wasn’t sure if I was ready.
When you go into a relationship with a selfish person, instead of sharing and benefitting from mutual love, you end up being completely drained because you are forced to keep giving and giving and giving with little or no reciprocation. Remember, a well goes dry when its sources withhold water.
2. Am I ready to give him/her Room in my life?
Relationships are not meant to be one-sided; it is a partnership. Before going into one, you must ask yourself over and over again if you are willing to allow your potential partner into your life, space, and time, because that is indispensable for a successful relationship.
Obeying the rules of #NSTM(find out its meaning here) requires that you go jettison physical engagement in preference for the intellectual, spiritual, social, and otherwise. Even at times when you are quite tied up with work duties or personal devotion, you must make out time to talk and spend some quality time with your partner.
3. Do I see him/her as a Long-term Partner?
I personally do not approve of frivolous relationships which lack purpose/focus, and neither do the Scriptures. Many people enter into relationships because of loneliness, societal or family pressure, money, etc. If this is one of your reasons, please refrain. While I do not have anything against dating, I believe it must be a meaningful and purposeful one with a clearly defined end goal.
Anything that diverges from that can lead to boredom and/or disillusionment when the relationship starts taking too long to move on to the next stage. Also, from personal experience, you should make sure your partner’s dreams and visions coincide with yours. This will make your relationship adventurous and fulfilling.
4. Am I willing/ready to Compromise?
Compromise in purposeful and meaningful relationships doesn’t mean going overboard. It doesn’t mean giving up yourself and your convictions simply because you want to make things work. One major reason why it is necessary in finding a partner whose convictions match yours. You don’t want to be in a situation where you have made up your mind to save sex till marriage while your partner thinks the opposite.
Compromise in relationships means reaching a consensus where either or both parties are willing to give up a little here and there for the health and progress of the relationship.
5. Am I ready to be Tolerant?
The truth is, sometimes, your partner’s behavior might put you off, and it would require a whole new level of patience to tolerate him/her. Just bear in mind that there is no perfect human out there, but there is a perfect human for you with a number of imperfections.
Therefore, tolerance is a virtue any potential partner must learn to possess. It makes it easier when you’ve asked yourself if you possess enough tolerance to accommodate another human in totality.
6. Am I ready to Spend on him/her?
Love is not necessarily building a house or buying a car for your partner. Love is being thoughtful about your partner’s needs or wants.
With the little you have, you can sometimes give your partner a little surprise. It can just be a simple card or a lunch date, or a surprise gift. Remember, it’s not how big it is, but the thoughtfulness behind it that count.
7.Am I Ready to Learn, Unlearn and Relearn?
These are important aspects for a successful relationship as it requires that both individuals learn new things together, unlearn old methods, and relearn important lessons from life.
It might be difficult initially, but with a willing heart and mind, it will eventually work out.
I hope you’ve been blessed by this article, especially my gentlemen and ladies who are not hooked up just yet. I have full assurance that these lessons will pay off in the nearest future.
Do leave a comment below. I’d love to hear from you.
To know more, please click here. Till I come your way next time, do remain in God. Muaaah!