Self-confidence is the build-up of trust in your abilities, capabilities, decisions, actions, and judgment. Suffice it to say that inadequate knowledge of how to love yourself will result in an inability to know how to love someone else and this applies to both man and woman.
Different factors can be responsible for a failure to possess good self-esteem. I, for one, grew up as a timid child and was often bullied at school. I just felt so low about myself, and that made me quite shy and quiet. But today, the story has changed. By the grace of God, I have filled up my empty bag of self-confidence. Here are some special secrets that helped me and can help you build your self-esteem and confidence.
1. Speak Positive Words To Yourself Often
If only you knew the miracle positive words bring into a person’s life, you would speak them more often. Do not depreciate the power of good words. Before you leave the house every morning, declare positivity into your life. Tell yourself that you are a victor. Tell yourself that you can do it. Remove negative words from your dictionary.
Simple Tip: Words decreed and declared before the start of day is a 50% determinant to how your day will be. Your subconscious and conscious will operate in that light.
2. Read Great Books
Great books are not the regular novels that keep you happy but unmotivated. No! They are not books that make you feel comfortable with where you are. Neither are they books that don’t influence you to become an agent of change. Rather, they are books that change your mindset, thinking, frame of mind, outlook, psyche and general mental make-up.
Have you ever imagined speaking in front of an audience with a standing ovation being accorded you? Imagine what that would do to your self-confidence! This is how great books can change your life and mindset.
George R. R said, and I quote:
… a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge.
As you develop the habit of reading great books, your vocabulary gets dramatically improved, your inability to speak confidently fades, and your intellectual prowess gets ’10X’ed. That’s the power of great books.
Simple Tip: Great books produce great minds.
3. Keep Negative Friends (Self-Confidence Killers) at Arm’s Length
Do you share your thoughts with your close circle, only to be belittled, or your ideas watered down and scorned? Do your decisions often get trivialized? Yes? Then you are certainly doing yourself more harm than good, and this is one of the reasons why your self-esteem may never rise. You may be slow to realize the negative effects those naysayers you’ve surrounded yourself with have on you, but when you eventually do, it might already be too late because of how much damage would have been done to your self-confidence.
Except you want to, at your own detriment, give excuses and allowances for them, negative people can be easily identified through their spoken words and actions. If you have such people in your circle who often downgrade, underrate, underestimate, and undervalue you and your words, it’s time to distance yourself from them. Though difficult in the short term, you’ll eventually be grateful you did. Your mental health is highly important.
4. Believe in Yourself and Never be Afraid of Change
Permit me to say that that is one of the most important steps to self-confidence. You must believe in yourself and never be pessimistic about change.
You must learn to drop old habits and character traits that make you feel small and not enough. This is where change comes it. Don’t be hard on yourself, though. It’s a gradual process.
After God, you must not believe in anyone else more than you do yourself. Believe that your words carry power, believe that every move you make creates room for you in life. Give no room to doubt and belittling thoughts. Throw them into the trash can and possibly discard the trash can as well.
You are more! Never think less of yourself.
5. Invest in Yourself
Most people pay little attention to how they look and how they treat themselves. They do not take out time to take proper care of themselves. Maybe you are this type of person. You always put others before yourself, and this leaves you distressed. Don’t get it twisted, it is good to care for others. But you must understand that if you haven’t learned how to take care of and invest in yourself, you probably won’t know how to take of others. It will either be inadequate or excessive.
Learn to take out time to care for yourself:
- Physically: Have a good bath, smell nice, dress well, and eat good food.
- Mentally: Associate with good people. Don’t be dependent on social media. Meditate and think only good thoughts.
- Spiritually: Set out specific time daily for your spiritual nourishment and refreshment through prayers and the study of God’s Word. Listen to great sermons by trusted ministers. Find a church based on the totality of the Bible to identify with and let down your roots in.
- Financially: Get financial education. Read great books on finance education (Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad, Poor Dad is a great place to start). Follow great investors on social media and learn from them. Start a business or invest in one.
- Socially: Schedule some relaxation time once in a while. Go out, feel the cool breeze on your face, enjoy the sun, have some good and healthy fun!
6. Smile Often
Genuine smiles have a way of communicating confidence. They passively yet actively show that you have a healthy self esteem that has been developed from within.
Don’t go around keeping long faces in order to prove to the people around you that you are confident. That, in itself is, a sign of an unhealthy self esteem.
7. Never Give Up
Giving up is not a good way to build your confidence. It rather kills it! The fact that you failed isn’t the end of life. In fact, failure is a proof that you tried and a pointer to show that you can do better. The next that you are met with disappointments and will want to give up, always remember that he who gives up is a failure already.
Rising up again to never give up is a proof that you are about to land at the paradise of success.
In conclusion, the image you have of yourself is fully in your hands, and that spreads outwards into the image that others have of you.
Take responsibility for a positive self-image, commit to constant self-development and value increment, and very soon, rather than looking down on yourself, others will be looking up to you.
Never go into a relationship until you have built up or gotten back your confidence! This trait will help strengthen and create a healthy lifestyle for your relationship.
What have been your experiences regarding your self-esteem/self-confidence? Had any embarrassing experiences? How did you overcome/live them out? What are you doing to improve yourself currently? What book are currently you reading? Please share in the comment section!
Till I come your way next time, do remain in God and never forget, the Holy Spirit remains our advantage.
PS: In case you missed it, here’s some advice for you bachelors out there! And, to the spinsters, sit tight, yours is cooking!