The years a single man spends before he eventually finds a woman to marry are a very important time that often determines how he will live as a husband and father. Indeed they determine, to a large extent, how he will spend his entire life.
A man who wastes his years of bachelorhood is already wasting his life.
The list below highlights some decisions and actions that men take which end up destroying the foundations of their future family and life.
These are definitely not the duties of a Christian bachelor who wishes for a sweet future and family.
1. Jumping from lady to lady with no commitment
Yes, we understand that a man must not sit on his hands or wail over broken relationships, but the same wisdom dictates that a man must not change ladies as one who changes towels, that is, every other year.
If a man wishes to move on from a past relationship, or in fact, if he wants to start a new first relationship, he must be careful, watchful and deliberate about his choice. Patience is important in matters of the heart. You cannot make your heart into an expressway where ladies come in and go out as often as possible.
You ‘love’ a lady today, and the next day, at the slightest inconvenience, you’re already ‘unloving’ her. And in no time at all, you begin to ‘love’ another woman. I’m sorry, sir, but that cannot be the right course of action.
It is necessary to pray and be patient before entering into a relationship.
2. Frequently staying outdoors till late at night
Many a bachelor has formed the habit of living irresponsibly – still not inside his home as late as 11pm. It is quite understandable if he stays in town late into the night because he was held up by treacherous traffic. But some men just form a lifestyle of spending time outdoors, late into the night – sometimes as late as 1 am ?- on a regular basis. There are men whose landlords and gatemen have already given them spare keys to the gate just because they only get home when even the security men have gone to sleep.
Some guys have said it is because they don’t want to have to return to an empty house, and that’s why they spend as much time outside the house as they can. This is definitely not the right way to live. A man must be responsible and learn to enjoy his life within the comfort of his home. It is nice to watch football at night in the viewing centre, but don’t risk your life unnecessarily when you can as well watch the same match on your own TV with a can of cold drink and maybe fried yam to enjoy your life.
3. The reckless spending of a Chronic Bachelor
‘I don’t have responsibilities yet, this is the time I can spend as I want before my wife comes.’ A lot of single men have said these same words over and over again. Because they earn more than they need, they have picked up the habit of spending like drunken sailors, without any control or thoughts for the future. As long as a man lives, he will always have needs to spend his money on. And his wants will never be satiated. That’s why a lot of men don’t understand how their bank accounts go so low.
If you earn more than is needed for the three necessities of man, food, clothing, and shelter; or four necessities, if we want to count subscriptions, you must also save some part of your money, at the very least, five or ten percent. And even more important than saving, a man must have something he invests his money into so that his money can keep growing and yielding fruits needed for the unknown future. Of course, a bachelor must also learn to spend on himself and enjoy his life, but he must do this with wisdom and learn to prepare ten or twenty years ahead of time.
4. Waiting for a future wife to take over cooking and washing
This has to be one of the most common wrong things bachelors do. There is the funny exaggerated story of the young man who attended his wedding with his dirty clothes packed into a bag in the boot of the car that took him and his new bride home. Apparently, he had been looking forward to her arrival to help him take over his laundry services as well as the kitchen.
In this time and age, where men and women have careers and most men wouldn’t even want a full-time wife, it is baffling that some bachelor cannot still see reasons why he must learn basic things like cooking and washing. What is even more baffling is that, while at the higher institution, the men who cooked and washed their own clothes would suddenly miraculously lose the ability once they begin to prepare for marriage.
It only promotes laziness when a man forms the habit of putting off cooking and washing for the sole reason that he thinks he doesn’t need to learn how to do these things since he thinks his wife will be in charge of them.
A man must know how to wash his own clothes.
A man must also know how to cook his own food.
Whether he decides to keep washing and cooking after marriage is a personal question and discussion outside the scope of this post.
But, at least, he must know how to do these basic things.
And if he uses laundry services and orders food, he has to accept that his wife will also use outside help after marriage.
5. Living the ‘Single man’s life’- no plans and goals
It might not be easy, but every man should – in fact, must – have a plan for his life. A certain schedule of possibilities and goals that include the paths his life would follow and the corresponding assumed period and time should be created. The thing about plans is that you just need to create them. God, the ultimate Architect, can sometimes decide to throw your plans out the window. Even then, you must, at least, have something. It keeps you focused and not distracted by so many frivolities that fly around in this age.
In fact, when you have a plan for your life, it makes it easy to find the perfect partner – a wife who will be able to fit into that plan perfectly and help you complete the rest of your life’s journey.
If a man does not have a purpose and plan, goals and dreams he hopes to achieve, how could he expect to lead and direct the course of a woman’s life? When a blind man leads and walks with one who is without eyes, wouldn’t both of them fall into a ditch?
A man must take control of his own life before he can expect to control a woman’s life.
That’s just how it is.
The post has been written to highlight five things a proper bachelor must watch against and count as his non-duties.
– Contributed by Victor James Wahab
PS: Wondering why you’re still a bachelor? Check here!
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