Why You Should Be Thankful For Your Ex(They Probably Weren’t A Mistake)

Hi! I guess the first time you saw this topic, your fist involuntarily tightened and you felt like punching anything in sight, and maybe most of all, my beautiful face (or that of someone else ? ), haha. More so, if they were a source of much pain and heartache to you. But I get it, and it’s alright. Can we just grab a drink and chill while we discuss this hot button issue?

Relax, let’s talk

Dear reader, exes are people you should be grateful for. Yeah, you heard me right. If only you understood why I’m telling you this, you’d go on your knees thanking God. A little caveat before we proceed, though. One case to which our discussion doesn’t exactly apply is when couples have to go separate ways because of health incompatibility issues like genotype and blood group. Such issues, though quite painful at the initial stage, are quite valid reasons for separation, and in fact, it is wisdom for a couple to separate if they arise. In the long run, they’ll be grateful they did.

Oh, by the way, sneak peek alert! We’ll be inviting a very special guest for a full-fledged discussion on this issue very soon, so keep your eyes peeled!

Right. Let’s get back to our discussion, where we focus on relationships that had a not-so-fairy-tale ending.

I present to you five reasons why you should be THANKFUL to God for your EX!

ONE: They made you realize how little you loved yourself

If you are still in Egypt, you might not agree with me. But if you’re true to yourself, you’ll discover that you never really loved yourself enough to know what and what not to accept. The majority of us do not really understand what self-love is all about, and that’s why anything goes with us, regardless of how we’re affected. You’ll realize that you loved him/her so much that you gave too much room/allowance for shouldn’t have been allowed in the first place. But let’s not dwell on that. Be thankful that it has taught you to love yourself more.

TWO: They drew you closer to God

Ever heard the saying, “When the pain is deep, go deeper in prayer?”  I guess so. If you were to reflect on those moments when they did things that made you sad or even shed tears, you’d realize that there was just one Person you could look up to, and that was God. Maybe you even had friends or family who warned you before you got neck-deep into the relationship, and as a result, it was difficult to go back to them for advice or comfort. Your pain took you closer to your Creator, then, and I’m sure He helped you. You won a bonus point!

THREE: They taught you never to ignore little red flags

There may have been times when your love tank for each other was full, and then, out of nowhere, a sudden angry outburst proceeded from him/her. But because your head was on Pause and your heart on Play, you made excuses for their anomaly. Now that you understand better, shouldn’t you be grateful?

FOUR: They taught you to have patience

Have you realized how patient you were with their wrongs even when they attacked you over flimsy issues? Hold on, though. It wasn’t entirely for the bad. Do you know that part of the fruit of the Spirit is patience? Through them, you understood what patience meant. Even though you had to endure their wrongdoings for long, it helped develop your patience and you didn’t get to a point of no return. Hmmm… I think that bulb in your head just lighted up!

 Look at how Paul puts it in Romans 5:3-5:

 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance (patience); perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (NIV)

FIVE: They taught you never to accept less

Charmed by their looks, you forgot to check up on their morals and values. Slowly but steadily, however, you began to realize that theirs were far below standard, but also began to wonder if yours was too high. In order to please them, you started lowering yours, and what happened thereafter? You completely lost it all. After your sad state of asking yourself why you had to meet someone like them, you now realize that below or just above average wasn’t and isn’t good enough. I think you should thank Abba that you didn’t realize this when you’d already crossed the Rubicon, my dear. Don’t you?

Dear reader, the Holy Writ encourages us to give thanks in all things, whether good or bad. I want you to understand the gravity of your position as a royal priesthood and a holy nation. Have you ever wondered why the rich mostly hang out with the rich? It’s not far-fetched. It’s simply because they believe their circle has a great influence on their affluence.

Now do you understand why you cannot settle for anyone less than you are? I’m not talking about the physical things that man often craves. I’m talking about morals and values, principles and convictions which can neither be purchased nor borrowed.

You may count your Ex as a mistake, and think they took away your joy, peace, and perhaps a part of you that you can never regain, but like Robert Schuller reminds us, “Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost.”

Last but not least, let forgiveness be your hallmark. Don’t be like that person who said, “Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate.”  When you see it from that angle, you’ll only continue to haul bitterness, revenge, anger, and remorse along. Don’t forget, you too are an Ex to them, and may have been the villain!

Till I come your way next time, remain in God.


PS: Don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comment section. Are you an Ex or do you have one? Feel free to share with me. I’d love to hear from you. Remain Blessed.


I’m a Jesus Junkie, lovingly loving with common sense ;), a business-minded engineer, a sister, and a daughter who loves worshipping and connecting with my Source, my darling Saviour. Hearing from you is my utmost pleasure. Feel free at anytime to mail me.

  1. Phoebe

    The absolute truth! Thank you for opening our eyes to a whole new perspective on past/failed relationships…More grease and grace♥️

  2. Joy Gona

    So inspiring…
    It’s resounds with my past.
    We must learn to forgive ourselves and others for any hurt we feel about our past.
    The future is all that matters and God is very much interested in it.
    God bless you sis.

  3. Tomi Pearl

    Absolutely! I always say having ex(es) isn’t altogether unpleasant.
    Sometimes things go wrong for us to get it right.
    Plus, I have come to understand with personal experiences that everything sure happens for a reason. It’s a plus if we can figure out why early enough – God,, good or bad.
    Nice read, dear.
    More wisdom!

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