I want you to understand that being single is not a disease and shouldn’t be seen as one. In fact, it is one of the most promising phases of life where you get to make important decisions that can either make or mar you. Studies show that decisions taken at a younger age mostly determine the outcomes of the latter years.
Well, growing up and living in this part of the world requires that when you are done with college/university and also done with service year, you have someone in mind that you are planning on getting hitched with. Well, maybe not all homes anticipate this, but most do.
Family, friends, church folks, etc never fail to remind you that they are awaiting your invitation card, and most times, all you can do is fake a smile. Because you know, “I cannot come and go and kill myself” (a Nigerian slang).
Can we take some minutes to look at five reasons why you are still single?
1. You haven’t discovered what you NEED in a spouse
Have you heard the saying, “Purpose before partner?” Well, you just might be single because you haven’t found your purpose in life. Perhaps all you do is follow people who are earnestly pursuing theirs, and that has kept you from realizing who you should be in life.
If you lack personal direction, how would you find a partner who can ride with you? It is only until you find your purpose that you can understand what you really need in a partner.
2. You are afraid of commitment and you are waiting for a sign
Everybody likes to fly free, and no one likes to be tamed, but all relationships come with their terms and conditions. There are many things you can do alone while single that you won’t be able to do when in a relationship.
I won’t lie to you, commitment is a huge task. Being in a relationship requires you to make sacrifices that could be quite inconvenient many times. It also requires that you are faithful even when you feel the person is undeserving because of how annoying he/she seems to be (all partners get annoying sometimes)/when you feel zero butterflies in your tummy and no sensations running through your body.
Though maintaining commitment is a task which is easier touted than done, it’s worth doing with the right person. In fact, studies show that commitment to a course makes you live longer. While some people get scared of commitment, others are waiting for a sign to drop from heaven as a confirmation before getting committed to the right person for life. If you are in these shoes – and I’m sorry to burst your bubbles – you might wait till eternity.
3. You have a zero social life
If you are that type of individual who rarely goes out for functions, events, services, or workshops, likes to be off the social media world and finds it difficult to make friends at work/school/home, you would almost have no friend saving family. And please don’t tell me the family you were born into is all you need in life, because that’s a blatant lie. Look at what the Bible says about friends:
…and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Make a determination in your heart today that, instead of sulking, you’ll start creating room for the right person to come into your life.
4. You are too picky and have created unrealistic fantasies in your head
Believe me when I say no one is perfect. Maybe you have created an unrealistic human in your head who spells out P-E-R-F-E-C-T-I-O-N.
Maybe want him tall, dark, handsome with six packs and broad shoulders but zero veins showing, or want her fair, tall, beautified with dimples, slim but at the same time with a figure eight and zero fat. All these must be in that partner naturally without him going under the knife.
You expect him/her never to be sad, always happy 24/7, never have a mood swing, always be self-confident and never annoy you all day, all week. And the irony is, you crave all these qualities which you are very far from possessing!
However, down here in the real world, there is no perfect human. But there is a perfect human that can suit you! – and they will have their weaknesses and strengths. It’s never 100%.
5. You have decided to be a eunuch
We can’t deny the fact that there are few persons who have decided never to get married. They unintentionally/intentionally occupy positions in health, spirituality, secularism, etc, spheres which restrict them. If you are in this position, there’s nothing to be shy about. But if you are very sure of remaining single for life, please don’t go around building up people’s hopes, only to end up shattering them.
More so, if you find yourself in a situation (health probably) which restricts you from being in a relationship, I join my faith with yours and I ask God to heal you completely so that you can share the love you so much desire to feel and have.
For those of us who are still young and energetic with a strong will to find and begin pursuing your purpose, please don’t be unnecessarily pressured. Most times we get so worried about the future that we lose sight of the beautiful things of life which we should be enjoying. Don’t forget that nothing is wrong with you if you are single.
If you desire to get hooked up, you will soon cross paths with the right person on your journey to fulfilling purpose. While few find partners before purpose and end up living the life they always dreamt of, most become a shadow of themselves. To each man his own.
Don’t forget to share your thoughts with me in the comment section. I’d love to hear from you.
Till I come your way next time, please abide in God. Muaaah!!!
PS: Already in a relationship, but wondering how to have more fun? Here you go!